


Connections

by Scedasticity



Series: 0k [5]
Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 17:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15077879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scedasticity/pseuds/Scedasticity
Summary: Post-0kpre-Enlistmentficlets involving a new round of Conscription including (AU versions of) Troll Call/Friendsim characters.Most recently, Chapter Seven: The fleet takes asymmetric autoenucleation VERY seriously.Chapter Eight: Some POV interludesChapter Nine: SOMEONE is going to get mocked about this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Could this be more polished? Yes. Am I going to polish it more? Probably not.
> 
> Chapter One: The Magnificent Marine Predation may now have a cursed helmsman?  
> Chapter Two: Equius knows better than to get involved in a solitigation case.  
> Chapter Three: There is a haunted kitchen.  
> Chapter Four: None of this would have become an issue if they'd stuck to acrylics.  
> Chapter Five: Meanwhile, in the Brooding Caverns...  
> Chapter Six: Helm psych and contract killings (possibly).  
> Chapter Seven: The fleet takes asymmetric autoenucleation VERY seriously.  
> Chapter Eight: POV Interludes

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: people are saying the ship's neww helmsman is cursed  
CA: if it wwas just bissel I wwouldn't wworry but it's a lot of people

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox

AC: :(( < :((  
AC: :(( < ac has heard that too  
AC: :(( < it is purrobably beclaws of the deaths 

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: wwhat

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :(( < two helmstechs, two maintenance purrsonel, and a junior officer have died in the helmsblock since the new helmsman arrived?  
AC: :(( < of unknown causes?  
AC: :(( < did the rumors ca heard not cofur that? 

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox 

CT: D -> What

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: no they did not

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox 

CT: D -> You're not posted in there  
CT: D -> Are you?

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :33 < no

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: THAT'S A DEATH A WEEK.  
CG: THAT SEEMS LIKE UNACCEPTABLE LEVELS EVEN FOR THE FLEET.

adiosToreador left a file in the dropbox 

AT: i WONDER, IF THAT'S WHAT WAS IN THOSE AUTOPSY FILES,  
AT: cLEANCUT WAS REVIEWING, FOR A FRIEND?

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: *1* H4V3NT H34RD 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT 1T.  
GC: CGS R1GHT, TH4TS H1GH 3NOUGH 1D 3XP3CT 1T TO G3T K1CK3D OV3R H3R3.  
GC: 1F ONLY TO RUL3 OUT FOUL PL4Y. 

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: im gettin more concerned by the minute

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: I DON'T FUCKING BLAME YOU.  
CG: TA? ANYTHING TO CONTRIBUTE HERE?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: yeah  
TA: three more my2teriiou2 death2 before in2tall  
TA: al2o he2 ab2olutely iin2ufferable  
TA: crappy aii an2weriing 2y2tem ha2 been dii2placed a2 mo2t obnoxiiou2 helm2man  
TA: ii mii22 mariine 

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: al2o he2 a halfway decent hacker but not good enough two realiize iive been 2abotagiing hiim and that2 why he2 not gettiing anywhere lately

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: ...  
CG: WOW

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: the whiiniing about how he 2hould be iin the vanguard de2troyiing aliien2 ii2 annoyiing   
TA: the weiird hiic 2tanniing ii2 pathetiic  
TA: the tryiing two ratiionaliize how he feel2 about hii2 moiiraiil gettiing culled iin front of hiim wiith the previiou2 two poiint2 ii2 MORE pathetiic  
TA: but loopyfruiit2 2ent hiim a greetiing and an iinfo channel recommendatiion lii2t  
TA: and he called her a thot and 2ent her an explodiing viiru2 

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: Oh, I knew a FLARPer who was like that.  
AG: ...Knew him 8riefly, anyway. 

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: V3RY BR13FLY.  
GC: DO YOU TH1NK H3S K1LL1NG P3OPL3?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: not unle22 the relevant helm2column faiil2afe2 have faiiled undetectably

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: COULD H3 H4V3 H4CK3D TH3M?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: theoretiically po22iible but ii doubt iit  
TA: iit took me mo2t of a 2weep two take tho2e out and no one wa2 2abotagiing me

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :// < what was that about a moirail?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: moiiraiil culled at con2criiptiion  
TA: genuiinely traumatiic  
TA: ii felt really bad for hiim before ii talked two hiim 

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :// < anything else?  
AC: :// < ac asks beclaws  
AC: :// < maybe ac's purrspective is biased but  
AC: :// < that seems like it might result in a ghost? 

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: Cursed AND haunted?

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: ...  
CG: I'M GOING TO GET AA ON THIS DISCUSSION.

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: SO, M4YB3 NOT 1N OUR JUR1SD1CT1ON.  
GC: D4RN.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: moiiraiil culled for voiidrot, noted two be mo2t advanced voiidrot iin2pector had ever 2een iin a liiviing troll  
TA: ii thiink ac may have called iit

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: do I wwant to ask wwhat vvoidrot is

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: 1TS TH3 PS1ON1C D1S34S3 WH3R3 YOUR 3Y3S D13, 1SNT 1T?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: ye2  
TA: more iimportantly  
TA: you turn iinto an energy 2iink  
TA: iif you dont have p2iioniic energy comiing iin, you diie 

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: FROM, S4Y, YOUR POW3RFUL MO1R41L.

adiosToreador left a file in the dropbox 

AT: oR, FROM SOME RANDOM PERSON,

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: yeah  
TA: u2ually kiilliing them  
TA: iim 2urprii2ed a gho2t could do it two the liiviing thii2 fa2t, but iit make2 2en2e otherwii2e... 

adiosToreador left a file in the dropbox 

AT: i THOUGHT, THAT WAS AN URBAN LEGEND,  
AT: pSIONICS DRAINING PEOPLE, i MEAN,

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: well iit MO2TLY ii2  
TA: iit2 po22iible, but 2o2 canniibalii2m  
TA: 2ome people are de2perate ii2 all 

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: this convversation keeps gettin better and better  
CA: did wwe lose CT?

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: D1D W3 LOS3 4G?

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: 4G PL34S3 T3LL M3 YOU D1DNT T4K3 OFF FOR TH3 MMP H3LMSBLOCK 4LON3.

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: FUCK

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: iim pagiing AA

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :|| < did ca's lights just flicker?

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: uh  
CA: yes

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: yeah the MMP ju2t had a power 2urge  
TA: ...  
TA: 2everal power 2urge2 

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: >:[

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: ii wouldnt worry two much about AG  
TA: iif ii under2tand correctly tryiing two draiin a miidblue p2ychiic ii2 equiivalent two 2endiing them an engraved iinviitatiion two fuck around iin your thiinkpan  
TA: iim worryiing about collateral damage 

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: THE GOOD NEWS IS AG DID NOT TAKE OFF FOR THE MMP HELMSBLOCK ALONE.  
CG: THE BAD NEWS IS SHE TOOK TC AND CC AND SOME OTHER RANDOM GHOSTS ALONG.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: 2hiit  
TA: ok ii advii2e remotely recalliing them NOW

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: THINK AA'S DOING THAT.  
CG: ...  
CG: WTF IS THIS PSIONIC DRAINING FUCKERY? 

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: 2omethiing we do NOT want iidiiot voiidrot gho2t attemptiing on TC

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox

CT: D -> Is this a safety issue

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: that depend2 on how much feedback the helm2man ii2 gettiing from the gho2t

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: wwhat  
CA: wwhat's the wworst case scenario?

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: THE WORST CASE SCENARIO IS AVERTED, AA GOT THEM BACK.  
CG: THEY'RE FINE.  
CG: PLUS ONE EXTRA. 

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: good

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: but wwhat WWAS the wworst case scenario?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: iit look2 liike youre 2tiill haviing power fluctuatiion2  
TA: pre2umably becau2e he wa2 u2ed two haviing the draiin  
TA: probably nothiing two worry about  
TA: AA, you okay with voiidrot gho2t iin your offiice? 

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox

AA: ...  
AA: ill manage  
AA: in the meantime c0uld y0u try t0 figure 0ut if he KNEW his m0irail was ar0und? 

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: ...  
TA: you mean talk two hiim?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Kuprum](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Kuprum_Maxlol) and [Folykl](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Folykl_Darane))


	2. Chapter 2

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox

CT: D --> How long does a solitigation case usually last

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox

CT: D --> Also  
CT: D --> I thought legislacerators had at least a quarter sweep of training before being permitted to work unsupervised

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: no iidea what youre talkiing about and ii thiink GC2 iin courtblock  
TA: iill run 2ome 2earche2

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox

AC: :?? < a what case?  
AC: :?? < is ct in trouble?

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox

AA: thats a g00d questi0n  
AA: lepsir t0ld us that if were ever appr0ached by a s0litigat0r t0 just advise them t0 l00k up  
AA: 'what happened t0 cutpurse'  
AA: but he never said what a s0litigat0r was

cuttlefishCuller left a file in the dropbox

CC: CA de-fin-iely knows, he talked aboat it sometimes back on Alternia, but he never explained it very whale!  
CC: Sort of legislacerators but not reely, and money is involved?

adiosToreador left a file in the dropbox

AT: oH,  
AT: i KNOW THIS NOW!  
AT: a SOLITIGATOR, IS A SECOND-TIER LEGISLACERATOR,  
AT: mAYBE THIRD-TIER,  
AT: iNSTEAD OF PURSUING VIOLATIONS OF lAW,  
AT: tHEY DEAL WITH DISPUTES BETWEEN TROLLS,  
AT: oVER THINGS the law DOESN'T FIND INTERESTING OR IMPORTANT ENOUGH,  
AT: aND!  
AT: sOLITIGATORS OFTEN, START WORKING, IMMEDIATELY AFTER cONSCRIPTION,  
AT: bECAUSE MANY OF THEM WERE FULLY ACTIVE, ON aLTERNIA

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: Weird  
AG: I thought most people just dealt with that sort of thing 8y trying to kill whoever they're angry at?  
AG: Especially 8ack on Alternia

adiosToreador left a file in the dropbox

AT: ,,,  
AT: tO BE HONEST,  
AT: tHAT WAS SORT OF,  
AT: aLSO MY IMPRESSION,  
AT: tHOUGH MY THEORY NOW IS, MAYBE IT'S MORE OF A HIGHBLOOD THING?  
AT: bECAUSE THE COMPLAINTIFF, HAS TO PAY THE SOLITIGATOR DIRECTLY, AND THE COST CAN GET KIND OF HIGH?

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: THE COST GOES UP UNTIL THEY HAVE ALL YOUR MONEY.  
CG: IT'S NOT JUST A HIGHBLOOD THING, SOME MIDBLOODS IN MY OLD NEIGHBORHOOD GOT SUCKERED INTO IT.  
CG: BUT THAT'S HOW LONG A SOLITIGATION CASE LASTS -- UNTIL THE COMPLAINTIFF DOESN'T HAVE ANY MONEY LEFT.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: huh  
TA: wonder iif that2 what wa2 goiing on when that tealblood 2howed up and 2aiid ii had two get my lu2u2 off the roof or pay damage2  
TA: 2tiill tryiing two fiind a log of 2oliitiigatiion ca2e2

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: WHAT HAPPENED?  
CG: I'M ASSUMING YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY PAY ANY DAMAGES.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: he had a miiniion break down the door then took one look at me and turned around and left  
TA: there wa2 2ome 2houtiing about fiine priint?  
TA: and valiidiity of one 2iided contract ediitiing?  
TA: ii dont know  
TA: they never came back

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: a lot of solitigators on Alternia wwould havve fine print absolvving them of all commitments if the defendant turned out to be a strong psionic  
CA: or a purpleblood or a seadwweller  
CA: some of them exclude midblue psychics too  
CA: I discovvered somewwhat belatedly

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox

AA: ...  
AA: AG?

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: What?

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox

AA: n0  
AA: i was asking CA if it was y0u he tried t0 set a s0litigat0r 0n

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: ...  
CA: Obvviously it didn't go anywwhere

cuttlefishCuller left a file in the dropbox

CC: Was that the thing about the boat after the whale incident?

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: I don't wwant to talk about the wwhale incident

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: I'm surprised you TOLD anyone a8out the whale incident.

cuttlefishCuller left a file in the dropbox

CC: He had to tell me SOMEFIN about how he got stuck out there

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox

AC: :33 < *the huntress finds this all very interesting*  
AC: :33 < *but would ct please explain whether he is in trouble*

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox

CT: D --> No  
CT: D --> At least  
CT: D --> I am not involved in the  
CT: D --> Case  
CT: D --> The suit is directly at Callea specifically  
CT: D --> Although I am not clear on e%actly which incident is involved  
CT: D --> She has countersued  
CT: D --> I just wish to know how long the solitigator will be lurking around  
CT: D --> He is very young and very irksome  
CT: D --> And keeps trying to persuade me to start a case over the defacement of my work area artwork

adiosToreador left a file in the dropbox

AT: uH,  
AT: i GET, THAT cALLEA IS ONE OF YOUR ROBOT-BUILDING FRIENDS,  
AT: bUT FROM WHAT i HAVE HEARD, IT SEEMS LIKELY, WHATEVER INCIDENT IT WAS, WAS DEFINITELY HER FAULT?  
AT: bECAUSE OF THE DISINTEGRATION RAYS?  
AT: oN WHAT GROUNDS, IS SHE COUNTERSUING?

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox

CT: D --> I believe  
CT: D --> On grounds of that being what she always does when she has a solitigator issue  
CT: D --> She said something about 'the usual drill'

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: ...  
CG: WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER HOW LONG IT USUALLY TAKES, THEN?

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox

CT: D --> That would be very awkward

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: M4YB3 BUT 1T 1S 4LSO TH3 ONLY W4Y YOUR3 GO1NG TO G3T 4 GOOD 3ST1M4T3  
GC: COUNT3RSU1TS M4K3 TH1NGS H4RD TO PR3D1CT

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: 4LSO 1 C4N UND3RST4ND 4C OR 4T OR 44 NOT KNOW1NG 4BOUT SOL1T1G4TORS ON 4LT3RN14  
GC: NOT SO MUCH YOU T4  
GC: BUT W3V3 B33N H3R3 OV3R 4 SW33P  
GC: TH3YR3 4ROUND

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: but the thiing ii2  
TA: ii ju2t dont care

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: 4ND 4G  
GC: YOUV3 *B33N SU3D*.  
GC: NOT JUST UNSUCC3SSFULLY BY C4, T34M SCOURG3 GOT SU3D... M4YB3 3L3V3N T1M3S?

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: We were?

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: W3 P41D OUT TW1C3!

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: We did?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Tagora](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Tagora_Gorjek))


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a haunted kitchen.

cuttlefishCuller left a file in the dropbox 

CC: We have investigated!  
CC: The tertiary food preparation area on Brutal Domination IS haunted.  
CC: However, the ghost is NOT respawnsible for the food prep specialist who died! That was re-port-edly a coworker.  
CC: The ghost is respawnsible for some of the missing supplies, but not all of them.  
CC: He has no idea what happened to the grubloaf, the preserved fruit, the vitamin bars, or the sugared ants  
CC: Just the oblong meat products

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: s0 basically  
AA: gh0st is n0where near as str0ng 0r danger0us as has been rep0rted  
AA: pe0ple are just using it t0 c0ver stuff up

terminallyCapricious left a file in the dropbox 

TC: yEaH HeS NoT StRoNg aT AlL  
TC: JuSt  
TC: rEaL FoCuSeD

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: if the f00d is disappearing c0mpletely and hes n0t str0ng  
AA: thats VERY f0cused

terminallyCapricious left a file in the dropbox 

TC: ...  
TC: CoUlD I EaT If I TrIeD?

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: i think technically the f00d is getting vap0rized?  
AA: VERY f0cused  
AA: scarf girl levels 0f f0cused  
AA: higher

terminallyCapricious left a file in the dropbox 

TC: ExCePt oN ObLoNg mEaT PrOdUcTs iNsTeAd oF ThE BaD GuY

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: ...  
AA: apparently 

terminallyCapricious left a file in the dropbox 

TC: i tHiNk tHe pOoR GuY WaS HuNgRy a lOt oN AlTeRnIa  
TC: tHeN He gOt HeRe aNd iTs nOt cOmPlEtElY ClEaR BuT I ThInK He fElL?  
TC: AlMoSt rIgHt aWaY?  
TC: AnD He wAs sTiLl hUnGrY, So...

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: im n0t criticizing  
AA: im just a little taken aback

cuttlefishCuller left a file in the dropbox 

CC: Whale anyway  
CC: He was pretty easy-going efin when TC got between him and the freezer  
CC: So I think it should be safe for Bureau HQ to send Ododby or one of the rookies!  
CC: I'm going to suggest that he clear out before he can get dispelled, though?

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: maybe 0d0dby can bring him h0me  
AA: its ab0ut time he started getting a gh0st ent0urage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Diemen](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Diemen_Xicali))


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Four: This never would have been an issue if she'd stuck to acrylics.

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: I'm a8out 8y percent sure Team Murder Recon is planning another murder.  
AG: ::::|

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: FOR FUCK'S SAKE. 

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: ii would have thought iit2 a liittle 2oon after the blockmate dyiing  
TA: at lea2t iif they want two maiintaiin any preten2e of 2ubtlety  
TA: anyone iin partiicular or are they ju2t feeliing murderou2?

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: No, they've got a reason this time.  
AG: Remem8er that weird little indigo trainee oper8ions officer?

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: PRETTY SURE THERE'S MORE THAN ONE OF THOSE.

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: The one who thinks she's a gr8 artist?

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: PRETTY SURE THERE'S MORE THAN ONE OF THOSE, TOO.

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: This is the one that knocked on AA's office8lock door 8ut got dragged away 8y an older trainee saying something a8out hadn't she ever heard of necropaths?  
AG: Or may8e you weren't there for that.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: oh riight that one  
TA: iit 2ounded liike 2he wanted to cull people for paiint2, but had enough of a functiional thiinkpan two realiize that wouldnt be allowed  
TA: 2o 2he2 been goiing around tryiing two bully people iinto lettiing her bleed them nonfatally  
TA: pachex ha2 2tarted actiively hiidiing from her

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: ...  
CG: OH.

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: Yeah, I'm assuming that's the motive. Keeping wanna8e rain8ow drinker away from Scanfire, I mean.  
AG: So........

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: AND OF COURSE THEY HAVEN'T CONSIDERED, I DON'T KNOW  
CG: JUST... STEPPING IN AND STEERING WANNABE ELSEWHERE IF IT LOOKS RISKY?  
CG: SCANFIRE JUST AVOIDING HER?

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: To 8e STRICTLY fair the prospective murder-ee is currently in Sensors with Scanfire  
AG: So this isn't out of nowhere 

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: PRACTICALLY JUSTIFIED, FOR MURDER RECON.

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: for the lovve of gl'bgolyb wwhy wwould someone givve permission for ANYONE to build a submersible seaplane on a spaceship  
CA: much less AWWWWAKK

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: fuck wwe're in the middle of something important again  
CA: sorry

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: iimportant may be puttiing iit a liittle 2trongly

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: although actually I havve no idea wwhat you're talking about?

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: YOU DON'T WANT TO.

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: 1 DONT KNOW 31TH3R, 4ND 1 D3F1N1T4LY W4NT TO KNOW!  
GC: 4G, SOM3TH1NG 1S GO1NG ON W1TH MURD3R R3CON 4ND YOU D1DNT T3LL M3?

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: Uh  
AG: Well  
AG: Sort of?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: no one told me eiither  
TA: upon iinve2tiigatiion  
TA: 2canfiire 2eem2 two cau2e 2ome 2ort of camera jiinx  
TA: and ha2 a lot of faked mediical exam record2

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: ...  
CG: I GOT AG NOT TO MAKE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT WHEN WE FOUND OUT.  
CG: BUT IF YOU MUST KNOW  
CG: LOOKS LIKE MURDER RECON TRIO INCLUDES A MEMBER WITH  
CG: CALL IT AN IDENTIFIABLE BUT UNACCEPTABLE HEMOTYPE  
CG: NOT MINE.

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: wwoww

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: ...  
GC: 1111NT3R3ST1NG.  
GC: 4ND W3R3 4VO1D1NG TYP1NG 1T B3C4US3 W3R3 4FR41D OF 3MB3DD3D SC4NS L1K3 FOR CG 4ND CC?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: ii dont thiink that2 real liikely?  
TA: miight be better two be 2afe though

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: PLUS WE CAN TRY TO MINIMIZE THE STRAIN ON CT'S PROPRIETY REFLEXES.

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: 1 *GU3SS* TH4T M4K3S S3NS3.  
GC: BUT 1 DO NOT 4DVOC4T3 4BSOLV1NG T34M MURD3R R3CON OF TH31R NUM3ROUS CR1M3S ON TH1S 4CCOUNT!

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: Okay 8ut none of that answers the question  
AG: Do we let Team Murder Recon murder rel8ively innocent 8ut annoying painter girl  
AG: Or do we gam8le that painter girl WON'T 8low the whole thing

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: WH1CH WOULD NOT ONLY G3T TH3 THR33 OF TH3M 1N D33P TROUBL3 BUT POT3NT14LLY ST4RT 4N 1NV3ST1G4T1ON TH4T COULD H1T UNR3L4T3D P3OPL3.  
GC: 1 S33 TH3 PROBL3M.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: ii could ju2t 2huffle the paiinter out of 2en2or2

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: HOW MUCH TROUBLE WOULD IT BE TO SHUFFLE HER OFF THE SHIP?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: ii thiink iit depend2 on whether anyone2 taken a partiicular iintere2t...  
TA: iif not ii thiink 2he could ju2t be 2wapped wiith a new iindiigo operatiion2 offiicer on another 2hiip

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: THAT MIGHT BE BEST, THEN.

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: SIGH.  
AG: I admit I was kiiiiiiiinda hoping to charge in to the rescue to save someone from Murder Recon  
AG: ::::P

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: I'M SURE THERE WILL BE FUTURE CHANCES.

centaursTesticle left a file in the dropbox

CT: D --> My what refle%es  
CT: D --> What is going on

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: you don't wwanna knoww

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Amisia](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Amisia_Erdehn))


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5: Meanwhile, in the Brooding Caverns...

stoicDoorward started trolling disorderlyImpulse

SD: What is this I hear about Maltha stabbing a novice?  
DI: That spr=ad fast.  
SD: Its true?  
DI: I think it was l=gitimat=ly an accid=nt on Maltha's =nd.  
DI: Or at l=ast it wasn't plann=d.  
DI: Opinions ar= split on wh=th=r sh= should hav= b==n abl= to pull th= blow when Ursama got b=tw==n h=r and th= grub.  
SD: Oh dear  
DI: Yup  
DI: On th= oth=r hand  
DI: Skalbi stabbing Maltha? Not accid=ntal at all.  
SD: I hadnt heard about that part  
SD: Will she be all right?  
DI: Th=y should both b=.  
DI: Skalbi's not =v=n g=tting s=riously punish=d  
DI: I think Sur=wait and Tru=t=nd ar= just taking th= opportunity to s=nd h=r som=wh=r= =ls= inst=ad.  
SD: Sounds wise  
DI: Y=s but what I wish th=y'd do is s=p=rate Maltha and Ursama  
DI: B=caus= if th=y don't I'm pr=tty sur= this'll happ=n again.

* * *

upwardDescent started trolling dailyDemolition

UD: How are the Musclebeasts?  
UD: And has being outside made Jonjet any less tense?  
DD: +ugh  
UD: That doesn't sound good  
DD: well it WAS  
DD: Especially when+ Co+un+tin+g said n+ext time there will be all terrain+ vehicles  
DD: B+ut then+ we GOT to the m+usclebeasts, an+d  
DD: I forget, have yo+u ever seen+ on+e +up close?  
UD: Not since I've been here but there was one in my Neighborhood  
DD: Yo+u kn+ow how they can+ get Poin+tedly Disapprovin+g at an+y sign+ of Impropriety?  
UD: Uh oh  
DD: Yeah I was hopin+g we co+uld get away witho+ut her n+oticin+g b+ut n+o l+uck  
DD: So she's back to cran+ky  
DD: How's the n+ew g+uy?  
UD: Hmmm  
UD: Better before Ancillar Gardwell objected to the Alterations to his Uniform  
UD: Mostly on Principle, I think, they didn't seem dramatic to me  
UD: But then the Original is also unobjectionable to me so what do I know  
UD: At any Rate Bombyx is now passive-aggressively taking excessive Time to do his Makeup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Bronya](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Bronya_Ursama), [Lynera](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Lynera_Skalbi), [Daraya](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Daraya_Jonjet), [Lanque](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Lanque_Bombyx)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helm psych and contract killings (possibly).

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: H3Y T4 S3TTL3 4N 4RGUM3NT FOR M3  
GC: HOW L1K3LY 1S 1T TH4T TH3 N3W H3LMSM4N OF TH3 1N3V1T4BL3 3XP4NS1ON 1S C4RRY1NG OUT CONTR4CT K1LL1NGS?

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: WHAT.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: ...  
TA: he wa2 iin2talled liike ten hour2 ago and ii2 probably 2tiill hung over from the drug2  
TA: when exactly ii2 he 2uppo2ed two have done thii2

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: L4ST W33K.  
GC: SO 1 4M G3TT1NG D3F1N4T3LY NOT 4S TH3R3 W4S NO SUCH H3LMSM4N 4T TH4T T1M3.

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: DO I EVEN WANT TO KNOW HOW THAT CAME UP?  
CG: ALL THE ROOKIE LEGISLACERATORS ARE RIDICULOUS.

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: HMM, NOT 3NT1R3LY.  
GC: 1 H4V3 H34RD PL4US1BL3 CL41MS TH4T H3 D1D K1LL FOR H1R3 ON 4LT3RN14.  
GC: CONT1NU1NG NOW -- L3SS PL4US1BL3.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: much le22 plau2iible  
TA: that 2aiid  
TA: he got iin2talled thii2 late becau2e they had hiim on a  
TA: call iit a p2ych hold

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: ...

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: ...

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: ...

adiosToreador left a file in the dropbox 

AT: ,,,

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox 

CA: ...

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: 4H, 1 S33 YOU R34D TH3 F1L3S B3FOR3 JUMP1NG 1N TH1S T1M3, C4! W3LL DON3.

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: i just asked b0nebelt and she kn0ws n0thing ab0ut this  
AA: h0w d0es a helm install get a psych h0ld?

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: AND HOW DID YOU AVOID ONE?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: ha ha  
TA: apparently they dont liike how well he compartmentaliize2

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: >:?

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: im n0t f0ll0wing either

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: ok look  
TA: ii wa2 how old when ii found out about the whole helm2man/battery thiing? four 2weep2? three?

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox

AA: y0u had the basic idea by the time we met  
AA: that was ab0ut three i think

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: yeah  
TA: and ii miight have been on the early end but the poiint ii2 people know  
TA: p2iioniic2 know  
TA: and have tiime two deciide what they thiink about the whole thiing  
TA: how they thiink about the whole thiing  
TA: and mo2t of u2 fall iinto one of three categoriie2  
TA: unhappy but re2iigned -- whiich ii2 how theyd cla22 me  
TA: enthu2iia2tiic -- liike that new a22hole on the MMP  
TA: or 2elf-de2tructiive. people who try two dii2able theiir own power2 or run away or fiight or even ju2t kiill them2selve2 outriight two get out of iit

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox 

GC: 4ND TH1S 1S ON3 OF TH3 S3LF-D3STRUCT1V3 ON3S?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: no  
TA: thii2 guy ju2t liike  
TA: deniial'd iit all the way  
TA: iit2 not that he diidnt know what happen2 two the be2t p2iionic2  
TA: or that he diidnt under2tand he wa2 iin that category  
TA: he ju2t 2omehow never allowed tho2e thought2 two come together  
TA: and apparently never worriied about iit. at all.

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: ...  
AA: huh

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: whiich ii2 a2 good a copiing mechanii2m a2 anythiing ii gue22  
TA: and ii wouldnt have thought theyd care eiither  
TA: but turns out they do!  
TA: becau2e iit 2how2 helm related compartmentaliizatiion  
TA: and the worry ii2  
TA: what iif he can compartmentaliize 2ome of hiim2elf away from the condiitiioniing

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox

AA: ...  
AA: im n0t sure that makes sense

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: neiither am ii but that2 what theyre thiinkiing

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: SO 1TS POSS1BL3 H3 COULD T4K3 UP CONTR4CT K1LL1NG 4G41N?  
GC: 4T 4 T1M3 WH3N H3 1S NOT HUNG OV3R FROM 1NST4LL?

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: wwhat

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: the extra traiiniing tiime wa2 2uppo2ed two deal wiith the condiitiioniing ii22ue  
TA: but iif iit diidnt  
TA: hmmm  
TA: iitd 2tiill take 2ome tiime two deal wiith the power draiin even wiith no condiitiioniing  
TA: 2o probably not unle22 the target2 came and 2tood iin hii2 helm2block  
TA: but he2 2uppo2ed two have really good fiine control, whiich let2 you do more wiith le22...  
TA: yeah ii dont know  
TA: would not recommend iineviitable expan2iion a2 a vacatiion de2tiinatiion

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: ...

adiosToreador left a file in the dropbox

AT: gOOD TO KNOW,,,?

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: V3RY GOOD TO KNOW!

caligulasAquarium left a file in the dropbox

CA: terrifyin to knoww but wwhat else is neww

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox

CG: SO ON THAT COMPARTMENTALIZATION HOOFBEASTSHIT  
CG: THEY WEREN'T AFRAID YOUR SHITTY BINARY/DUALITY STUFF QUALIFIED?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: ii thiink they thought iit wa2 purely ae2thetiic  
TA: whiich iit miight be for theiir purpo2e2  
TA: ii have no iidea whether iit2 ACTUALLY makiing iit any ea2iier two 2liip the condiitiioniing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Azdaja](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Azdaja_Knelax)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fleet takes asymmetric autoenucleation VERY seriously.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: okay ii would have 2aiid 2omethiing about thii2 2ooner but ii wa2 really expectiing them two have kiilled hiim by now  
TA: can 2omeone go check on gatheriing 2warm deck 118 bay niine  
TA: not tc or caterpiillar

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :(( < ac thinks that is in the running for most ominous thing ta has efur said

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: OBVIOUSLY HE NEVER TROLLED YOU DURING DOWN PERIODS ON ALTERNIA.  
CG: BUT IT IS PRETTY FUCKING OMINOUS.  
CG: A LITTLE MORE DETAIL ON WHAT TO EXPECT MAYBE?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: ...  
TA: la2t potentiial helm2man piicked up thii2 round wa2 2abotaged by a2ymmetriic autoenucleatiion  
TA: or at lea2t wa2 unable two prove otherwii2e

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :?? < :??

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: shit

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: ...

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: they took out one of theiir own eye2  
TA: whiich make2 2tandard helm iin2tall iimpo22iible  
TA: the fleet doe2nt liike iit when people do that  
TA: at all

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :(( < oh  
AC: :(( < :((

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: liike they arent happy iif you overdo iit and burn them both out  
TA: but they u2ually ju2t a22ume you were a reckle22 iidiiot liike everyone el2e on alterniia  
TA: cull you for the bliindne22 probably but they mo2tly dont get puniitiive about iit  
TA: but one eye?  
TA: that2 taken a2 deliiberate 2abotage of fleet property  
TA: untiil 2he communiicated enough two explaiin the biiowiire allergy ii a22umed that wa2 what happened two caterpiillar

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: FUCK.

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: there were diire warniing2 iin wiith the 2choolfeediing about iit  
TA: about how youd be draiined two death  
TA: wiith graphiic photo2  
TA: but there2 alway2 2omeone who thiink2 iit doe2nt apply two them  
TA: or ju2t never doe2 the 2choolfeediing

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :(( < :((

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: FUUUUUCK.  
CG: OKAY I'LL GRAB A FEW PEOPLE AND GO TAKE A LOOK

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: H8ly SH8T TA y8u c8uld h8ve incl8d8d a W8RN8NG!!!!!!!!

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: OR AG COULD GO CHECK IT OUT WITHOUT ASKING FOR CLARIFICATION.  
CG: THAT WORKS TOO.

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox 

AG: Th8 biowire w8nt INTO th8 eye sock8t!!!!!!!!  
AG: I c8uld b8rely st8nd to feel my fing8rs in th8re wh8n I was cl8aning the inj8ry!!!!!!!!  
AG: BIOW8RE!!!!!!!!

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: ...  
TA: ok iit actually diidnt occur two me the eye thiing miight make iit more upsettiing two you  
TA: 2orry about that

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox 

AC: :(( < :((  
AC: :(( < is there anything we can do to help?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: um  
TA: well

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: y0ure w0ndering if we can d0 a mercy killing with0ut getting any0ne in tr0uble

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox 

TA: ...  
TA: yeah  
TA: ii know how you feel about that kiind of thiing iin general but there ii2 liiterally no precedent for an autoenucleatiion 2abotuer beiing relea2ed  
TA: they arent gettiing out of there aliive  
TA: and ii dont know how long thii2 could la2t

apocalypseArisen left a file in the dropbox 

AA: ...  
AA: draining t0 death is a substantial physical strain  
AA: sudden bl00d pusher failure w0uldnt be implausible  
AA: if we were careful n0 0ne w0uld realize gh0sts were inv0lved

carcinoGeneticist left a file in the dropbox 

CG: I'LL GO ASK.  
CG: WHETHER THEY WANT TO, I MEAN.  
CG: ...  
CG: HAVE I MENTIONED RECENTLY HOW TERRIBLE THIS FLEET IS?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Cirava](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Cirava_Hermod))


	8. and some POVs

**Cirava for the Friendsim-TGA meetup! Please.**

==> BE CIRAVA HERMOD

You aren’t quite sure what to expect after you tell the voice claiming to be a ghost that you would in fact like a mercy culling. You aren’t completely sure it’s not one of the technicians screwing with you.

“Hi,” a new voice says a while later. “Cirava, right?”

“…Yeah?” you venture.

“Okay. You can call me CC. Wave talked about it and we think the best option we have at the moment is for me to just reach inside your thorax and compress your blood pusher until it stops working. Which, uh, probably won’t be instant or painless, sorry, just wanted to warn you–”

“For fuck’s sake, is that supposed to be reassuring?”

At this point– “Go ahead.”

“…All right. Sorry about this.”

It starts out as a weird feeling in your thorax, then a weird tightness, and then rapidly sharpening pain – but next to the state of your head you JUST DON’T CARE. Your vision is already seeing nothing but spots – has been for weeks – but now your hearing blurs into a dull roar, and…

And you’re standing next to the rack your body is strapped to as a gray-clad seadweller steps back, lowering her hand. She looks… not quite translucent? But not… solid. You avert your eye from the body. Eyes? Eye? It keeps flickering.

(You can see you can SEE your face is bare there’s no biowire touching you you can MOVE–)

“There you are,” says the first voice – hemonymous and scowling. Well, maybe all ghosts are hemonymous. No, there’s a yellow and a midblue with them with signs on their uniform jackets.

An alarm starts blaring.

“That seems a little late,” says the seadweller. CC. Like Sea Sea, ha. “Was TA going to mess with the monitors?”

“Not that he said,” says Scowly. “Maybe they’re just bad at their jobs.” He turns to you. “I’m CG, these are Hellas Essyet and Alesse Dalyce. You can come back with us or stay here and fuck around haunting people, the necropaths would probably let you get away with it.”

“You should come back with us,” says the yellowblood. “The Terrifying Ghost Army doesn’t have enough lowbloods, it’s just weird.”

Terrifying ghost army, huh? “Do you have Moisturewave?”

“What?” says Sea Sea.

“It’s music,” says Scowly. “Sort of.” You scowl right back at him.

“Whale, I’ve never heard of it, but honestly if we can pull off ghost karaoke you can probably do… whatever that is.”

Cool. “Okay. I’ll give the Terrifying Ghost Army a shot.”

A couple of techs run in, swearing. One of them starts trying to shock your body back to life.

You don’t look at them, and follow the other ghosts out.

* * *

**Marsti on the subject of Terrifying Ghost Army?**

==> BE MARSTI HOUTEK

Tavros Nitram is… adequate as a custodian. Not below the Fleet’s lax standards, anyway. His ability to keep rampaging lusii off work teams makes up for his shortcomings in cleaning-related skill and enthusiasm.

He’s apparently quadranted with a teal, which… whatever.

He is also apparently considered the local ghost expert by other maintenance personnel? Even though he’s clearly a zoopath? Whenever someone sees something that might be a ghost they ask HIM about it for some reason.

You think this is the result of people casually mixing up ghosts with lusii up until one off-shift when you walk one of the storage chambers Maintenance uses for hangouts and find Nitram apparently WRITING SLAM POETRY with a FACE-PAINTED PURPLEBLOOD GHOST.

“Oh shit,” says the ghost, faintly but distinctly.

Nitram winces. “There, uh, isn’t going to be any quick way to, um, explain this, is there…”

* * *

**I'd really be interested in seeing Ododby bring home Diemen as his first ghost!**

==> BE DIEMEN XICALI

The Ododby necropath who is supposed to be your new boss, or something, has turned a real funny color you didn’t know rustbloods could manage, but is still trying to thank Miss Aradia for bringing you here and thank you for joining him even though he’s afraid of ghosts. One of the grown-up necropaths is off in the corner making strange noises trying not to laugh, which you think is kinda rude. As another grown-up necropath points out. Then the laughing one blames Miss Aradia. Then Miss Aradia says she was being NICE, see, Ododby appreciates it. Then the other grown-up says yes Aradia was trying to be nice but maybe don’t go as far as saying Ododby appreciates it. Then Ododby says he can speak for himself, only he kinda squeaks it.

“They may be at this a while?” says the purpleblood ghost who found you in the kitchen. “I gotta introduce you to Doriti, she’s real good at making imaginary food you feel like you’re eating.”

* * *

**I'd love anything with Mallek? My poor hacker boy,,,**

==> BE MALLEK ADALOV

You could have applied for an enformationorcer position. You’re still not sure you shouldn’t have. You’d have been GOOD at it, you know you would have, and it would be much less OBNOXIOUS than fucking THRESHIE DRILLS.

But it would have meant spending all your time tracking down people doing just what you like to do, or else trying and probably failing to get permission to patch glaring security holes that the Empire is apparently fervently committed to. And, well, applying for the position would sort of… put on the record, that you have the skills you have. Someone presumably non-clueless would have been responsible for supervising you and your skills.

As it is you can come back to your stupid dorm after threshie drills, elbow your asshole blockmate out of the way, and wedge yourself in the corner with your husktop and carry on… reconnoitering, carefully, without worrying anyone will be watching you in particular. Seizing control of anything in the Fleet the way you did delivery drones obviously wouldn’t fly, but… there will be stuff you CAN do. You just need to figure out what.

And figure out how to negotiate the Fleet network infrastructure, which isn’t quite what you’re used to. Some of it is due to the ‘Brutal Domination of Inferiors’ having an “integrated” helmsman, which is an intensely unnerving idea when you really understand what it means. You drop an undirected message into the network apologizing for any problems you accidentally caused while exploring and regret it immediately. Who even knows where it ended up? Stupid.

The next time you open up your computer there’s a sourceless message waiting for you:

TA: welcome two the fleet. you may have notiiced everythiing ii2 terriible.  
TA: the helm2man of the brutal domiinatiion a2ked me two pa22 along that he accept2 your apology  
TA: and ii can giive you 2ome adviice on avoiidiing the ii22ue iin the future  
TA: and po22iibly on gettiing out of the thre2hecutiioner2 becau2e tbh your 2core2 dont look liike iit 2uiit2 you

Rude.

* * *

**Tyzias meeting the ghost army?**

==> BE TYZIAS ENTYKK

You spend a lot of time drifting after Stelsa in her admin classes. She doesn’t know you were murdered.

Well, no, obviously she knows you didn’t trip on your own shoelaces and stab yourself in the throat. She’s not stupid. But she thinks it was one of your classmates taking out the competition who then set it up to look like an accident.

Instructor Cutknots carefully set it up to look like a classmate set it up to look like an accident.

An older ghost told you that legislacerators just… do that, sometimes, when they think there’s too high a chance of another legislacerator doing something… indiscreet. You didn’t think you were being THAT indiscreet.

(Damn it you knew you weren’t likely to last long but you were expecting to get to at least ONE case–)

“THERE she is!” announces a ghost in the classroom doorway. “See, told you I’d find her.”

You’ve seen her before, usually at the center of some sort of possibly-roleplaying-related ghost fracas, and HEARD her even before you died. The short-horned hemoanon ghost with her is unfamiliar. …Probably unfamiliar.

“Wonderful, thanks, go have fun terrorizing the barbarristers,” he says, then looks at you. “Hi.”

“…Hi,” you say. “Tyzias Entykk, but you seem to know that. Have we met?”

“No, but Terezi says you’re extremely nosy, so the name Karkat Vantas might mean something to you?”

*Oh*. “…Yes, yes it does.” 

“Great. On Terezi’s recommendation I have come to invite you to join our heretical and seditious terrifying ghost army.”

“Provisionally,” you say immediately, because that sounds excellent, but– “I’d like to examine the metaphorical fine print before committing.”

“…I’m not sure we’re actually organized enough for fine print.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is going to get mocked about this.

terminallyCapricious left a file in the dropbox

TC: hEy  
TC: hAs aNyOnE HeArD AnYtHiNg aBoUt aNy nEw pUrPlE ReCrUiTs gEtTiNg sEnT To  
TC: you know  
TC: THAT SHIP  
TC: cAuSe i hEaRd sOmEtHiNg aBoUt tHaT

arsenicCatnip left a file in the dropbox

AC: :(( < :((

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: well a faiir number of OTHER con2criipt2 got 2ent there  
TA: they have two 2taff the 2hiip 2omehow unfortunately  
TA: but ii diid check at the 2tart and iit diidnt 2eem liike any purple2 thii2 round had been marked dii2po2able  
TA: ii can look agaiin  
TA: any detaiil2?

terminallyCapricious left a file in the dropbox

TC: uH  
TC: NoT ReAlLy?  
TC: :o(

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: If this is a8out what that weird dancing ghost was saying during GARPing I REALLY wouldn't worry a8out it.

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: WH4T K1ND OF GHOST?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: okay thii2 ii2 weiird  
TA: there are not currently any new purple con2criipts on the gleeful abandon  
TA: but there were ye2terday  
TA: and iif the pattern contiinue2 there wiill be agaiin in three day2 or 2o  
TA: there2 a paiir that just keep2 gettiing contiinuou2ly bounced back and forth between gleeful abandon and miirthful maturatiion  
TA: becau2e po22iible 2upervii2or2 on both 2hip2 thiink theyre creepy and dont want two deal wiith them??????

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: ...  
AG: Su8juggl8ors think they’re creepy.  
AG: Su8juggl8ors  
AG: How many people did they kill?

twinArmageddons left a file in the dropbox

TA: 2iince con2criiptiion no one?  
TA: yeah ii dont know

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: 1NT3R3ST1NG.  
GC: TH1S SOUNDS L1K3 SOM3TH1NG TH3 B4RB4RR1ST3RS SHOULD B3 MOCK1NG TH3 SUBJUGGL4TORS OV3R.  
GC: 1 W1LL LOOK 1NTO 1T!

arachnidsGrip left a file in the dropbox

AG: Oooooooor those of us who can travel freely could go over to the Mirthful Matur8ion and check it out!  
AG: I'm going to go see if Pro8os or Gilyan wants to come!

gallowsCalibrator left a file in the dropbox

GC: DO YOU 3V3N KNOW HOW TO G3T TO TH3 M1RTHFUL M4TUR4T1ON?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ([Barzum and Baizli](http://mspaintadventures.wikia.com/wiki/Barzum_and_Baizli_Soleil))


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